What Kind of Syndrome Is It?

I have no idea why and when it actually happened. Today was so random. I start my day goodly after a long perfect sleep! A sweet scene in my office's elevator also made my morning :) Psstt.. My hubb came and hug me and kiss me secretly in the elevator. Ok now it's not a secret anymore. So I thought my Tuesday would be great until my boss screwed my mood's up suddenly at midday. Then here comes the most random thing of the day:

I... Sorta... Kinda... Miss my Mr. Incredible

Well errmmm.. This might sound silly but, every sweet moment with my hubb always remind me of him. I don't know you could stay this strong but please, I thought I'm totally over you, turned out that our memories just too sweet to forget.

So here I am.. Making a stupid wish..

I wish FedEx could deliver my kisses & hugs to Brisbane...

Take a good care of yourself there, Jo :)

1st Post on 2nd Day of May ♥

Last Day on April 2011

Heya there :) Been couple weeks since my last update. Well, however, life's been good lately and things get better, right on the track with a good path but... not with my brain.
The worst mistake I ever made was when I put my high trust on somebody, then he broke the promise I've been trusted eventually. Means, I thought that was the worst mistake.
Now I'm facing the truth that I'm enjoying the brand new mistake I made. What can be worse than this, huh? My heart do not take this so serious but my brain officially broke. Like I can't think clearly & unable to keep things right. Now "insane" is my middle name.

This is another short-post about my silly relationship. This one is the riskiest, most dangerous, guiltiest relationship I ever had.

Here Goes The Story Again...

Nah! Not about that guy again. Maybe this is going to be the stupidest decision that my heart ever made.

First,
Let me try to explain this:
This guy, or what should I call him eh, this man, is join to my office since about the end of 2010. No first impression, just so so and definitely not my type. No tattoo. Smells fair. Things normal. I never talked to him until I found something wrong with my computer, either the connection or stuff. And it's his job to check out and fix it. So we start the conversation, normal conversation about the connection problem etc. Still, I have not found any "something" on him, YET.

Second,
I'll try to make it clear how abnormal thing start:
Once we had lunch together and spend half an hour after lunch at the smoking area. In my office it is called "Cherry Lounge" (yes, that silly cherry tree been there for years). He talk a lot. No. He JOKE AROUND a LOT! And he got me. Why the hell I always lost my great defense as I met a humorous guy?! I've warned myself to not let my heart decide what to feel too easily. So I decided to keep this feeling and make it just...yeah this man is a joker. He jokes around everyone. But one thing, I can't stand the way he look into my eyes. Like he saw something in me and vice versa. And it's bothering my day (in a good way).

Third,
Here comes the forbidden fact:
He has been married. 12 years. With 2 kids. Guessing how old he is? Take your time then. No, he's not that old. I call it mature enough. His position in the office is as a Manager (WOW FACT!)
So again I warn myself to take things easy.

Fourth,
The guilty pleasure:
What the hell you think?
Okay, at first I don't know about this matter until my friend told me. That he always looking for me every lunch time. Talking about the things he likes in me. Telling if only he could pinch my chubby cheeks. Showing his passion when looking at me and telling how he likes spending times joking around with me.
See? This isn't me that feel too confidence or what. It's him.

Fifth,
The sinful invitation:
Last night my friend ask me to have a dinner outside. Since I'm alone at my dorm and bored and have no idea what to do so I go with her. And guess what. He also in. And three of us spending a joyous time and agaaaaiiinn he jokes a lot! Every word he said is always burst my laugh out and I obviously can't control myself to keep sane! And you know what? He asked me out to the cinema!
Wtffffffffff .
So I don't take it too serious (again). Make it as a joke. Wth am I going to have a date with a married man? Gossshhhh.

Sixth,
After the nice dinner, he's about to go back to his office for night duty. And..... he call me!
Aaaaaaaaaaa then it's hard for me to sleep.........

TGIF!

and I feel good :)

Things that I (WAS) love about you

Reminding me of you......

Am I stupid? Or what?

Judge me whatever :)

hola! cómo se? ;)

It's been.... 4 days? since my last post.

Well, you might confused about my decision to not telling you the whole stories about Mr. Incredible. It's simply answered: I'M MOVING ON.

Life's been so-so lately but it's good to know that you still have so many great friends out there, right? :)

LIFE IS A MYSTERY.

HEY! :)

did I promised you something? about a story about someone named Mr. Incredible?

well, how about, just forget it. I broke my promise.

maybe another story will be more interesting :D

CHEERS!

xxo,

Charnita

here goes the story about a guy named Mr. Incredible

okay, how should I start this, eh?

have I told you that now I'm in a deep crazy crush with a guy? fyi, he's not my boyfriend or even one of my ex(s), what should I named him errrr just say it: MR. INCREDIBLE. ok nuf said. short introduction.

I've known him since we're in high school, 2004. 1st grade, at the same class. it was funny once he liked me at that time because, for some reason, I just cannot be with him. then there's a time when he moved to another school for unidentified reason (I never know the MAIN reason until now). and that was the last time we see each other and we never ever meet again...............

until January 2011.....

no, we haven't met yet. I decided to add his messenger pin, my first aim is just to share some stories about why I broke up with my 4-year-relationship's ex. that's all. because I need to hear another advice from "a guy side" who never knew my ex before. so yeah, we're having a very fun chats eventually. I always wait the time to chat with him. seriously he's a great joker! i looooovvveeeeee his every joke even the worst one!

well, just say it: I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM...

hey, I need to take some rest now. maybe you should wait until tomorrow night for the next chapter of a story about my Mr. Incredible ;)

signing out! bye! 

xxo,

Charnita

Better That We Break

Idk why I love this song like...much!

and relate to me too...much!

*sigh*

Friendly Fires

 he once asked me to listen to this song and bet I'll like it. and he was right. I like this song 'cause it always remind me of every good memories with him, however.

Friendly Fires - Paris

unplanned 270311 sunday

well.. this isn't going to be interesting. just a short story about how my Sunday goes. i start the day with a little "workout", catchin' up the train, yeah (again) for a hundred times my alarm won't work. woke up late, and found myself home, so I have to go to work by train. yes, if you're wondering, I'm working on Sunday. feels like "oh, crap! everyone's glued to bed." but hey this is life.

I'm touching down my sweet cubicle at around 9am. earlier than I thought. switching on the pc and doing all the reports. done with the reports, I accidentally double click on the "mozilla" icon (yeah, it's accidentally and this is my blog, so what?!)

to be honest, I don't like working on Sunday (who does, anw?). alone on 5th floor, and those creepy stories really hunt me down! I can't stop listening to ANY song with a super LOUD volume. so after I had my lunch break, I decided to going down to reception desk.

time to go home, not really go home. my roommate still on her vacation so I'm about to ask some of my old friends to meet up. BUT well, all messed up. I still have to do my boss a favor to get his reports done. so I've been busy with those work stuffs that drops my mood.

and after that loooong tiring day I still have to meet up with my friends eventually (YAY ME!!), took a taxi to Pacific Place and catch them at Aksara. turned out into a great time btw!

succeed. 12 hours with all feelings mixed up. work stuffs, gossips, friends. see? I still have the rest 12 hours to sleep! yiha! but wait, this is the awkward moment when I start lying down my head to the pillow. check my cellphone and found your messenger contact. ah crap. I'm start missing you (again).......

then I sleep 5 hours later, after a long journey of my mind thinking of you..

xxo ♥

just sayin'

you know what?

I prefer live my life spontaneously than have to make some plan..

but one day, if I have to list down the things that I should do.....

YOU'RE ON THE TOP OF MY TO-DO LIST


well, I'm just sayin' btw..

------

In Your Town ♥

One day I'll go to your town and meet you up..

We walk around the city with laugh.. And share the same old stories..

Go to the music concert that we don't even know the singer.. Watch the drama that we don't even like..

We bring our picnic box and sketch our dreams at the park..

Capture every sweet moment in a day.. And stare at those silly pics we've made before we sleep..

Then time flies.. And I'm about to get back to my hometown..

So we spend the day cuddlin'.. Order some pizza and stay at our bed..

Until I realize that I've missed my flight home, and we laugh along.. I don't feel worry at all..

Maybe it's not a right time to leave yet, and I won't be able to catch up the next flight..

Or maybe.... 

I just wanna stay... 

Here, with you.. 

In your town..

P.S: No one could stop my obsession

working on a public holiday

yaaaa kalo kerja di Hotel sih ngga aneh rasanya masuk pas tanggal merah. tapi yg gw bingung, gw ini kan di back office, kenapa ga disamain sama yg lain sih?! mentang2 reservation terus jadi harus tetep handle bookingan gitu? rrrgghhhhh!

seperti biasa deh, kalo hari libur ini ruangan gw pasti ga pernah nyala AC nya. gilaaaa, jangan mau deh lo punya boss orang Perancis. irit sengirit-ngiritnya! tapi gatau sih yaa, either ini kemauan si GM atau owner yg notabene keturunan Chinese (which is profit-oriented pastinya), tapi kayanya ga segitunya juga kali.

:')

aku, pernah merasakan apa yang dinamakan cinta.
amat sangat cinta sampai rasanya tak mungkin untuk beranjak meninggalkannya.

aku, juga pernah merasakan apa yang dinamakan dicintai.
amat sangat dicintai sampai rasanya tak mampu untuk merelakan cinta itu pergi.

dan aku, seperti makhluk Tuhan lainnya, tiba akhirnya untuk merasakan sakit.
sakit karena terlalu cinta.
sakit karena terlalu dicintai.
sakit karena ternyata dicintai cinta itu tidak selamanya berujung indah.


bila ingin sedikit mengurai cerita..
entah kenapa pedih rasanya untuk mengingat.
wanita manapun pasti akan terbuai dengan segala indahnya masa depan yang dirancang atas dasar cinta.

lelaki ini..
4 tahun menemaniku mengurai asa dan cita-cita..

lelaki ini...
4 tahun mengisi lembar demi lembar kehidupanku dengan berbagai tinta warna..

lelaki ini..
yang mengajarkan aku bahwa cinta sungguh membutuhkan pengorbanan..

lelaki ini..
yang selalu hadir di setiap mimpi indah dan tertawa di setiap cerita..

lelaki ini..
yang menyadarkan aku betapa mudahnya untuk setia bila saling cinta dan percaya..

walau tak jarang kerikil2 kecil itu ada menghalangi..
ombak yang tak bersahabat menghempas damainya perahu yg sedang tenang berlayar..
bahkan lubang besar yang memaksa kita untuk masuk dan terjerembap dengan hebat..

tapi cinta yang membuat kita bertahan..

sampai akhirnya..
habis sudah asa yang hendak dirangkai..
pudar tinta yang tertoreh di lembaran-lembaran kehidupan..
sia-sia segala pengorbanan yang telah dilakukan..
tak ada lagi mimpi indah untuk diceritakan..
dan kesetiaan itupun akhirnya berada pada titik jenuh..
lelah, putus asa..

sempat aku percaya pada janji yang dengan manis diucapkan di akhir cerita..
sekuat hati ini bertahan dan mengerti pada apa yang disebut 'keadaan'
keadaan yang tak lagi sama..
yang menguras waktu dan tenaga..

sampai akhirnya cinta menuntunku untuk membuka mata..
bahwa apa yang disebut 'keadaan' hanyalah sebatas tirai untuk menutupi yg terjadi sebenarnya..

sakit..
itu pasti..

terlalu sakit..
sampai rasanya tak mampu lagi mengalir air mata ini..

cinta..
ternyata tak berpihak pada kita..

yang bisa aku lakukan hanyalah berdoa..
aku yakin Tuhan melihat..
aku yakin Tuhan tau yang terbaik..

biarlah lembar demi lembar itu pudar lalu menghilang..

dan terlihat seakan tak pernah ada..

my very first post!

I feel weird, to start blogging (again) and let my fingers tick down the alphabets. Blog isn't my life, I prefer reading than blogging, it's way more fun for me.

But I have no idea how to explain this. There are so many things I'd like to share.

Maybe this blog will be boring, or maybe not. Maybe you can give a thumb-up or a thumb-down, or even just like so-so.

So if you feels like have no time, better close this page and back to the things you're working on :)

Cheers,

CHARNITA ♥